Apparently, my eyes are scary...when I am serious. How awesome is that? That means my eyes is scary about 80% of the time in a day, slightly less on weekdays with less lectures and weekends when I don't have assignments to rush.

OK, I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not.

This is REALLY late, but Happy New Year everyone!!

(I mean, it's gonna be Chinese New Year soon anyway, but moving on~)

I'm loving this new template very, very, very much. So much I think I'm going to stick to my new blogging platform. Sorry Blogger, I kinda lost faith in you after you shut down FTP. Anyways, ir's nearly midnight here now, so I really need to get my beauty sleep, lecture starts at 9AM tomorrow...bye!!

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
18 Jan 2011 // 11:48 pm // 0 thoughts




My animal alter ego is amazing. End of story.

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
28 Dec 2010 // 5:18 pm // 0 thoughts



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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
23 Dec 2010 // 7:55 am // 2 thoughts




Sorry, not much of an update. A busy week ahead. It will also be the last week of term. Until Friday is over, 頑張ります~!!

About two weeks ago was our second monthsary. Things have been a bit rocky since then...maybe the so-called honeymoon period is over, but we're still holding on, still trying to make it work.

Our bond is Physics,
Our love is Chemistry,
Skipping over the Biology,
There's no discounts in our Accounting.

We so fly like a G6.

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
12 Dec 2010 // 4:15 pm // 0 thoughts





...
...
...

ABRUPT ENDING!!

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
6 Dec 2010 // 11:07 pm // 0 thoughts




Boyfriend making a snow angel? Three year ago XD

I NEED NOT SAY NO MORE.

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
26 Nov 2010 // 6:21 pm // 0 thoughts



Rewind. Rewind. Rewind. Stop. Fast forward. Stop.

I love you.

Stop.

"So this is the part she wanted erased?"
"Yes, sensei."
Interesting. "Bring me the equipment."
"Yes, sensei!"

* * *

Just like what Hitome told me, there was no pain.

I didn't know why I am yearning for pain. I guess the lack of it feels too unsettling, but then again I'm being unreasonable.

"You've woken up." It was the doctor. He smiled at me, but it didn't meet his eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"...I'm fine."

He took a CD out of his pocket. "Do you..."

"No."

He smiled again. Again it didn't meet his eyes. "Sure?"

"Never been more sure."

* * *

She left. The CD lay shattered beyond repair in the wastebin.

It's my job.

I manipulate memories for a living. It's not something I am proud of, but it pays well. By manipulate I mean extracting the memories and convert them into electronic form. It's as simple as Ctrl-X and Ctrl-V.

But sometimes, my clients just want me to press Del.

I of course will abide by their wish and watch as seconds, sometimes even years of memories, just poof, disappear. Gone.

I mustn't complain about this life. I was my own victim.

I deleted my memories five years ago.

I don't remember anything from before five years ago when I woke up and have no idea who I was. I couldn't speak. It took the doctors almost two years to re-teach me everything again.

Now I stand in my own clinic, manipulating memories for a living.

Maybe, I'm just trying to redeem myself.

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
23 Nov 2010 // 5:55 pm // 0 thoughts



The following is taken from Stephanie Sun's blog. I find her an inspirational blogger, after being an awesome singer. She posted about Adrian Tan's speech to NTU's graduating class of 2008.

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.

You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
3 Nov 2010 // 7:06 pm // 0 thoughts



This morning, I woke up for no reason at half past four. It's two hours before I'm supposed to wake up, then I realised, it's been a month since I arrived in Cardiff.

The one month has been an overwhelming one. Arriving in Cardiff, I felt lost. I've been in UK for two years before this but when I finally got my luggage into my room and finally sat down, I realised I have to start all over again, and that scared me. What if I don't like Cardiff? What if I don't like my course? What if I can't make any friends? These are all old fears, but only this time I don't feel I have to confidence to confront them.

Fortunately, I managed to find my way around, and on the second day of the course induction, I met a Malaysian girl, Syafiqah. Then I was introduced to Salina and Ellen, and since the four of us are doing BSc Geology together, we formed what people will call a clique, a "comfort group". We exchanged numbers, but I didn't warm up to them until recently.

On the second week of the course induction, I went on three field trips, most of which involve a bit of climbing, DofE level. I have to say I'm not as fit as I thought I am, and the fact that Salina had experience climbing the Himalayas while the three of us huffed and puffed our way up did not help. In addition to that, I forgot to bring my compass, which make learning how to locate myself on a map difficult. Until now, I still only have a vague idea of how to use a compass.

Third week into my course, I suddenly realised all my lecturers are slightly crazy, mostly in a good way. They are all deeply passionate in their specific area and that is always a good thing, ね? I also managed to clean my room up so it look somewhat presentable, but my wardrobe is still dodgy full haha. I think I have too many clothes. Whoops.

I've been delaying saying this, because although this information is somewhat public already, there are still a lot of people kept in the dark. So, umm...basically...I...have a boyfriend. Yeah. Please don't take this news badly, he's a Bruneian, it's a long distance thing. I have no idea if this will work out, with both of us busy and all, him with his ITB and me with my uni, but we're willing to give it a try.

Please, if you know who he is, treat him well. He is a good person, I'm not saying this because I'm his girlfriend (I'm still getting used to this idea of being his girlfriend) but because he really is. I'll spartan kick anyone who disagree with me. Nah, I kid. *grin*

I'm gonna be on my way
Bye bye my younger days
Now wipe your tears away~

Yours, Jolene Cynthia
25 Oct 2010 // 6:15 am // 0 thoughts



Just when I thought things couldn't get any more worse, they did. What is this world coming to? I'm not sure what to feel anymore.

Early exam confusion: Probe into possible leaks
By Waleed PD Mahdini


Following the discovery of a local private school setting an internationally-accredited examination hours earlier than the scheduled deadline, it has now emerged that two other public secondary schools had also made the same oversight.

The Oxford and Cambridge Examination Board had set this year's Chemistry paper for half past four last Thursday afternoon for the country, which had been set specifically to synchronise with other countries across every time zone around the world.

However, with the discovery that two other schools had also set the examination deadline earlier than other schools, it is now obvious that there apparently had been a communication gap between the schools and the Ministry of Education's Department of Examinations, which is responsible for setting the schedule and timetable for examinations.

An official from the Ministry of Education has confirmed that an investigation is underway to find out the cause of the communication failure and that the findings of the investigation would be made public.

In the meantime, according to an informed source at the Department of Examinations, the protocol for a breach in the examination schedule will mean reporting the incident to the Oxford and Cambridge Examination Board by the Ministry of Education, as well as submitting evidence proving that the examination questions were indeed 'leaked'.

As the examination questions had been 'leaked' in Brunei, which according to sources was the first time it has happened in the Sultanate, this year's Chemistry examination could be compromised worldwide.

Source: Borneo Bulletin Sunday, 10242010

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
24 Oct 2010 // 2:07 pm // 0 thoughts



Early exam sitting causes chaos
By Waleed PD Mahdini


Concerned parents have voiced their displeasure over an early unscheduled sitting for an 'O' Level Chemistry examination on Thursday afternoon by a local private school that led to other students receiving the questions via phone and SMS.

The scheduled time for the nationwide one and a half-hour long 'O' Level Chemistry examination was set at half past four on Thursday afternoon. However, this timetable was not followed at one of the private schools, which decided to start the examination earlier than schedule.

This resulted in the students sitting for the Chemistry examination at this school to finish ahead of students in other schools. For some enterprising or loyal friends, they took this advantage to communicate with their friends and share with them the questions of the examination.

Upon learning of the mix-up, some parents have informed the Weekend Bulletin about the situation asking the authorities to investigate the matter and consider a re-sitting of the examination.

"How can the school allow this to happen? Aren't they supposed to follow a schedule that has been set down by the Ministry of Education? This is outright cheating," remarked one clearly outraged parent, who wished to remain anonymous, when he explained the matter to the Weekend Bulletin.

"I think the Ministry of Education should seriously look into the matter and I hope that they will also do something about the confusion that has been caused," said a woman whose daughter sat for the Thursday examination, adding the question: "I think the school should have at least quarantined the students until the rest of the students sitting for the examination finished theirs. I find this completely irresponsible of them. They should have been aware of this situation."

Most of the parents that were approached by the Bulletin agreed that they intend to take the matter up with the authorities of the school in question to demand an explanation for their oversight.

"I wouldn't blame the students. Of course, as a parent, I would half expect them to do that. What disappoints me is the carelessness of the school authorities. Why should other students benefit from this time rearrangement?" observed another parent.

The Ministry of Education could not be contacted for comments.

Source: Borneo Bulletin Weekend, Local News 10232010

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
23 Oct 2010 // 3:31 pm // 0 thoughts



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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
15 Oct 2010 // 2:14 am // 0 thoughts




I'm loving her blonde hair.

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
6 Oct 2010 // 2:38 pm // 0 thoughts



When looking out my window just now, I saw an Asian guy walking past, holding out his hands palms facing the sky, looking really puzzled. Then he stopped and looked at the sky. I think he was splattered by water-thrown-out-by-random-people-in-building-K-Senghennydd-Court and thought it was raining. And now I saw him walk past the same stretch of road for the second time and I'm trying to convince myself he's not stalking me.

OK, that was unnecessary. However, it can totally link back to the song I am listening to, which is Rain, one of the tracks in YUI's new single. Here's a rip of it by the guy behind YUPI Locks. It reminds me of Rolling Star, and like all songs by YUI, I fell in love with it the first time heard it.

I'm now in Cardiff, UK, pursuing my higher education (which is the British way of saying going to university) at Cardiff University. My accommodation is pretty swell, and did I mention that they did not turn on heating until October? Let's just hope that I did not turn into an ice sculpture in the meantime.

I got my university student ID card today. It looks pretty cool. The guy I got it from was pretty cool too. Can't show you how it looks like because my Photoshop isn't working, and I don't want identity theft to happen to me. So yeah.

In case you haven't notice yet, the place I'm staying at is Senghennydd Court. My room is cool, except for the noise, minimal but impossible to sleep in. The bed's rock hard as well but other than that, everything's fine.


Obviously that's not me, the photo is taken from Cardiff University's Residence site. It gives a pretty good picture of how my room looks like. Throw in fantastic view and there you go.

I'm somehow surviving my own crappy home-cook meals. Hmm.

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
27 Sept 2010 // 6:11 pm // 0 thoughts



I did not own a blog only to keep abandoning it over and over and over again. That's not what blogs are for.

I also do not keep a Facebook account only to keep watching my every actions there. Needless to say, I can survive without my Facebook account. It's just one of those what about us thingy why I keep it to this day.

I did not, contradictory to popular belief, update my blog a thousand times a day. I used to blog a lot more two years ago. Maybe, I should change the link and just leave it at that.

Maybe, you just don't understand why I keep a blog in the first place. Maybe you just want to push me over the edge. Congratulations. You just did. I'm not making any sense, but then, I don't have to make any sense.

This is my blog. Let's see you doing something about me posting here. Yours, Jolene Cynthia
19 Sept 2010 // 3:09 pm // 0 thoughts



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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
7 Sept 2010 // 3:53 pm // 0 thoughts




It has been six days into September and so far things are looking...up? I dunno. Well, I did get my CAS number, I do have a date for my Visa appointment (WTF B$438 WTF) and I did have all things sorted, sort of? Goddess or whatever higher power there is out there please let things go smoothly! Amen!

So basically I'm filling out the Appendix 8 form, which is like the most WTF form I have ever fill in, and Aini said it's not required but I dunno? I'm just going to fill it in, just in case anyway. My appointment is on the 13th which is WTF because my flight is on the 25th and can they make it in time? Hope so...

I tried to go into the enrollment site just now but I can't remember my password WTF. I even tried GDragon1808 which is a pretty weak password (and I don't use it anyway) but it just won't let me log in ㅠ_ㅜ I dunno what to do now.

Leicester still haven't cancel my accommodation application too WTF.

Arrgghh I wish I can post more but I can't and that's pretty f**ked up because this is my blog and I'm supposed to be able to post freely here but due to lots of complicated reasons I can't and that's pretty f**ked up. OK did I just repeat myself ㅠ_ㅜ

I need to go now before I got Diaoh-ed.

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
6 Sept 2010 // 10:21 am // 0 thoughts




Choi choi choi! LOL.

I went to watch Phua Chu Kang the Movie with my family last night. It was hilarious, although my parents weren't amused by the crude humour.

Needless to say, I truly enjoyed it, the Singlish (Singapore English, English with a mix of Chinese and Malay in it) and everything LOL.

Just a short update so you guys won't think I'm dead or something! Will update again soon ^^

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Yours, Jolene Cynthia
29 Aug 2010 // 2:40 pm // 0 thoughts


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